Feeling submissive

Yes, it does happen sometimes. Actually I have felt it recently more often. Especially during one weekend, after I went down with an infection and ended up taking antibiotics. I suppose my state might, just might, explain sudden changes in my preferences ;)

Nevertheless I was in a mood to do a scene when I could be a bit subbie.

Well, I should probably explain that the only form of submissive behaviour I can play with is when it's a forced submission, or coerced. And HH generously agreed to indulge my need for being coerced into submission.

Her name was Mandy, and her story is pretty long, as the girl by now survived probably more than a dozen roleplays spread over the period of the last five months or so. And I know her probably more than I know myself.

Her life is really very simple. Every now and then her uncle sends her to a special Institute where she can be trained to be obedient. And she does her best to actually obey. But she is just bound to fail sometimes. It's her fate to be punished no matter how hard she tries to be good.


Sometimes she is punished just because her uncle sent her there and that's what her Trainer is suppose to do with her. Needless to say she has no warm feelings for her uncle. All he can do is get rid of a problem instead of solving it himself.

You would say her life is sad, but she doesn't perceive it as such. She developed certain appreciation toward her Trainer. She considers his attention as the sign that he is the only person in the world that care about her. Even if that care is so painful. Even if it squeezes tears out of her eyes and makes her tremble so often.

Each time she admits she deserves to be punished she really thinks it. Each time she admits she deserve that punishment to be hard she truly accepts it and there is no defiance in her. Each time she is punished she tries to be brave, she tries to hold still if he requires that.


Part of her finds peace in knowing her performance is satisfactory. She likes hearing she was a good girl or seeing a half-smile on his face. Probably she even like coming to the Institute, because she knows its the only place where she gets any kind of attention.

Last time the Institute had a visitor who wanted to evaluate Institute's performance and efficiency. Mandy was chosen and soon she found herself dressed neatly in a nicely ironed uniform waiting for the man. She was told that if she won't behave up to the standards she will be severely punished later on. But there was no needs for that thread, Mandy just *wanted* her behaviour to be exemplary. She wanted to do a good job and be called a good girl.

She tried hard to show all the self control she was taught to exert while being punished. She was determinate to keep still no matter what. Each time she heard him saying 'Mandy!' in that strict, demanding tone of his she knew she was warned and needed to try harder. She wanted nothing else but to please him. And to please her Trainer if the visitor would speak highly about her later.

She couldn't stop her tears, but that's ok, girls are allowed to cry there. Her whole body was shaking half due to her muscle being tensed in attempts control herself, half from pain.


Few time she failed to do as instructed, her hands would cover her bum or her feet would get into the way. She felt bad about that, and crying begged the visitor to give her another chance. If she moved while having her legs smacked, he would cane her there. If she would make a mess about having her thighs caned, he would probably do it harder.

When he moved to whip her breast everything got worse. She couldn't take it and her hands were constantly getting into the way. He warned her and show how displeased with her he was. She broke into tears apologising saying she just couldn't, that it was too much.

That wasn't a valid excuse there and while prompted she admitted she didn't have enough self-control. It hurt her to admit her own defeat, but there was nothing else she could do. She was informed that she had some potential, and that she tried hard, but the matter of lack of self-control need to be dealt with. And that the further training was in order.

The visitor told her that her Trainer will hear about all of that and Mandy knew that before her further training would commence she would be punished for not behaving as trained And she knew she deserved it, she was genuinely sad about not living up to his standards. Honestly...